I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The power of my boobs compel you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
