I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
