I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
