And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
