I just saw a hot homeless man
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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