i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
