Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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