The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
