wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
