is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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