It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
