My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
