butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
