so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize