And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
