me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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