Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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