people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize