time to smoke my breakfast
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize