I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
