so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
