This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
