Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize