fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
