you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
