weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
