Dual....:-)
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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