Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
