...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
