8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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