The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
