Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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