$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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