Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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