I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
