sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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