Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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