dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize