Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize