I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
