O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
