hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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