You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You took a bar mat shot.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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