We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
