At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
