Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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