We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
