Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
