Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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