im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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