i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I want her autograph on my taint
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize