Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
