I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
