He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
