Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
