Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
