Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
