i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
