i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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