just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
